FFS (Advice NEEDED)

Another long, tedious and boring as hell week, or so it seems when you're hardly interested in what you're supposed to be learning.

When I first started this course, I was split 50/50 about whether or not I really wanted a career in Nursing and sadly, I must admit that the more we get into it, the less appealing it becomes. :( Don't get me wrong, I do like the idea of helping others with their 'regular' activities of daily living, etc. BUT, when it comes to bathing, changing and feeding the elderly every day, I'm not at all comfortable with the idea.

I hate when people suggest I'll get used to it, as that isn't the issue ... the point is that I am NOT comfortable - whether it be putting Depends on somebody, cleaning the mess up after they've worn one, slipping a catheter into their urethra, and so on. The reason I ramble on about such things is because I've already a placement in a Nursing Home if I want it. *Shakes head*

God how I wish I was doing something more girly, more ME. Perhaps Esthetics, Cosmetology, etc, you get the idea. Not to mention, I've worked at my desk nearly 6 years as a graphic/web developer and this is a rather drastic change in my opinion. The course was paid for however, as it's in much demand around here - so I thought, 'why not'. Ignoring those that said to me time and time again "This is something you've really got to want to do." Yeah.

I wish I could just skip all the classes and job shadowing placements and just get the certificate, know what I mean? Only because I dread going into the Nursing Home. I'd be more interested in going in and spending time with these people in a supportive or recreational way if that makes sense. Company for them ...

The only thing keeping me there honestly is the thought of knowing I'll be able to work in either a group home, rehab or VON. Though again, not really want I want to do with my life. I guess that's what happens when you're 37 before trying to get your shit together and start over.